DMB Up for a Woodie

By Waldo Jaquith
MTVU, a network that nobody has ever heard of, has announced that Dave Matthews Band has been nominated for a "Woodie," an award that nobody has ever heard of, high-lariously named for the slang term for an erect penis. There are nine categories, and Dave Matthews Band is up for the "Welcome Back Woodie," which is "for the artists who've graduated into the wide world of mega-stardom, but who haven't forgotten where they came from." The winners will be established by popular vote, and announced during the first week of November on the MTVU network. Penis dick cock schlong. Thanks to Chris Sullivan for the tip.